He's not yet two...this sweet boy who watches my face for every nuance of change.

"Grandma, keep an eye on him because he pounds the marker pens and ruins them."   His older sister had warned me.

And there he was--pounding and looking at me with a question in his eyes.

"No Roman, let's draw with the pen,"

So we drew--he the short squiggles and me a butterfly...

And then he pounded, carefully watching my face. 

"Roman, pens are for coloring, not for pounding." (parenting 101--say it in the positive).

This time he didn't color--just watched me. "Roman--should I color the wings with green and orange?" (parenting 101 take 2: try distraction)

"Yeah." So I color and he watches and...

...pounds the pen.

Gently, I take it from him, "Roman no more pen--remember we said no pounding."

I wasn't prepared--not for the rush of tears, the hiccuping sobs, the running away to his sister for comfort.

An hour later his mom came home and when she asked him if he'd had fun with grandma, he acted out pounding the pen, letting her know of the incident.

"He watches faces." she told me. "Every nuance of change, he notices, just very sensitive, feelings easily hurt."

Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master, As the eyes of a maid to the hand of her mistress, So our eyes look to the LORD our God...

Today in the quiet...sitting with my heavenly Father...I wonder what it feels like to live with that awareness.

To watch and wait and seek the face of God...to let discipline move me that way.

Giving Thanks

I love Thanksgiving and am always amazed at the reality that God's numerous commands for us to give thanks are really for our benefit. Saying thank you, to God, or to anyone else, for that matter, has the power to alter our outlook in profound ways. And Thanksgiving is just a good reminder of that. To that end, I wanted to share some Thanksgiving ideas with you. On my Thanksgiving Page (click here), you will find some great ideas for exercises, beautiful Thanksgiving quotes, and the recipe for the best turkey ever!
May we all learn afresh that giving thanks--all year round--is for our very worthy God's glory, but also for our own benefit. That's the kind of God He is!

Of Double-Digit Inflation and Academic Faith Challenges

“Yes, it’s a big deal—we probably lost a good part of our retirement again.” Those were my final words to Joe when the phone died abruptly yesterday. Calling from Ethiopia where my husband has traveled to further our work in community development and reformation (Africa Water and Life), Joe was noting that Al Jazeera Television had been talking almost non-stop about the U.S. economy and wondered how it was playing out back home. I felt bad the rest of the day for leaving him hanging like that. But as I thought about it, I realized that this is how so many of us feel right now –every day brings more dire news, leaving us hanging with no idea how things are going to play out. More than ever, it seems we have come to the end of options for getting our economy, and indeed that of the entire world’s, back on solid ground.

I have been on a break from my doctoral program this summer, and so many times have wanted to write and update you on my journey and share the amazing things God is teaching me. But I resisted each time, always feeling that to try to articulate the struggles in the faith-life of an academic thrown back into the arena after 30 years would be overwhelming. Where would I begin? With one of the first lectures that I attended regarding theories of knowledge, in which the professor dismissed divine revelation as something people believed in the middle ages? Or with the theory of adult development that I recently studied, which contends that people who believe in myths like the resurrection of Christ will never fulfill their spiritual potential?

This entire first year back in school has challenged me as I've realized that not only do I need to be fully cognizant of what I believe, but also conversant in why I believe it—why my Christian faith is the most sane way to make meaning of the world that I live in. To that end, I am extremely grateful to veterans like Ravi Zecharias or Doug Groothius, and organizations like Veritas Forum, who offer intelligent yet gracious responses to the pervasive scorn for the Christian worldview in academia.

But what does this have to do with the market crash? For the past month I’ve been pondering Jesus’ promise to never leave or forsake us. As I studied the reference in Hebrews 13:5, I discovered that though the writer seems to be quoting Jesus in encouraging the suffering church, the Gospels do not contain that exact quote. Apparently this message was so central to the heartbeat of Christ, that everyone knew He’d said it. It was in fact a promise God had made in several instances in the Old Testament, so when Jesus did say it, the disciples readily understood it to be not only a meaningful assurance, but another claim to Deity. In the context in Hebrews, the writer tied the promise to an admonishment to be content with what we have and where we are at—this to people who had given up their very homes in order to raise money to help imprisoned believers. Strong’s concordance brings a depth of meaning to this verse, defining “leave” as deserting, failing to uphold or allowing to sink, and "forsake" as to leave in straits, abandon or leave helpless.

As I have prepared for school to begin again, these thoughts have captivated me. No matter how strenuous the workload or how blatant the disregard for truths I hold dear, I have the very presence of the Living God—not only with me, but in me—always working, moving, leading, speaking, reassuring and loving. This is a reality so awesome that I can miss the wonder of it if I am not careful. He is with me! He is in me! He will never fail to uphold me nor allow me to sink. He will never abandon me or leave me helpless or in dire straits. The mystery of Christ's presence moves me like nothing else.

Whatever your future or mine holds—whether double digit inflation or academic faith challenges—our hope is just this; that our Lord is not going to leave or forsake us, for His covenant is sure. More than ever I believe each us will need to understand this in the coming days, to go deeper not only in what we believe, or why we believe it, but to get to know more profoundly WHO this God is that we believe in. This will be my prayer for each of you as I start back to school on Monday. I hope when you think of it, you’ll pray for me too.

In Him,
Tricia

P.S. Though I may not be writing again for awhile—school seems to be all consuming--know that you are in my thoughts and prayers continually. I'd love to hear how things are going for you.

LENT BEGINS MARCH 9

Lent begins tomorrow, March 9. Find devotionals for each day here! You can also purchase the book in hard copy, or for your IPAD or Kindle at Amazon.

Finally, for some other ideas on how to celebrate this blessed season, check out my website here!

Have a blessed Lenten season!

Back in the Thick of It...

My luxurious five week winter break seems to have flown by, and while I had great visions of writing deep and pithy truths here on the blog during my hiatus, I'm sad to say, it just did not happen.

What was I doing all that time -- besides enjoying the holiday with my family and a short bout with the flu? I was relishing the utter freedom from pressure germane to academia! I did however, read some great books -- The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind by Mark Noll, Think by John Piper, and A Place for Truth, which was a group of academic talks on God and faith by scientists, philosophers artists etc, edited by Dallas Willard. All three books greatly encouraged me with my resolution for 2011, which is to learn to love God with my whole mind.

Today I am back in the thick of studying and realizing that writing in this blog will happen only as a rare respite from the weight of study inherent in my venture back to school. But as I was doing some research on Christian mysticism, I came across this lovely quote by John of the Cross, and felt compelled to share it with you!

It matters not how many mysteries and marvels the great doctors have discovered and very holy souls have understood during their lives, there remained infinitely more to say and even understand. And thus
there is much to sound in Christ: because He is like a mine with many
caverns' of treasures, that, however deeply they sound the depths they
never find the bottom or the end, rather they continue to find additional
riches and new veins in each cavern. . . . what in this life can
be attained from these mysteries of Christ, it is impossible to arrive at
without having suffered much and received many intellectual and sensitive
graces of God and after much spiritual training.

And so it is...

My prayer for each of us is that we will find new veins as we dig deep in the caverns of treasures that are Christ this year -- for our joy and His exaltation.

Christmas Devotionals

I haven't had much time to write here lately, but look for my "lessons learned" from the semester over Christmas break. Meanwhile, if you are interested in some Christmas Devotionals -- there are twelve here, one for each day from December 14 to the 25th. You can find them here!

Have a blessed celebration of our Lord's birth!

S-T-R-E-T-C-H-E-D--------------------T-H-I-N

I'm being stretched thin -- there's no doubt about it.  This new venture I'm on (going back to school after 30 years) is no walk in the park.  Every day brings new challenges and sometimes I feel pulled in so many directions, I'm like a rubber band about to snap.
The thing I keep telling myself is that this is good, that it forces greater dependency on the Lord and will surely forge unprecedented growth.  And while these things are certainly true and have been my experience, there is still a strong urge within me to run back to the safety and security of the life I had, where the challenges were more defined and the answers easier to find.
I'd love to share more, but unfortunately I don't have time.  Writing here is regretably one of many good things I've had to let go of.  But I did get a chance to unpack this a little in a message to my home church a couple of weeks ago and wanted to let you know about that.  I called it Nixing the Naysayers, and for the most part, spoke about being my own worst critic, and most avid questioner...and what I'm learning to do about that.  You can hear the message if you're interested by clicking here.   (Just look below and click on the second message.)
Meanwhile, I pray you are being stretched a little too -- it really is good for the soul.