I love it when God crashes in and shows Himself faithful in undeniable ways. Our first car crisis -- that of the young woman living with us -- was solved quickly by an ex-mechanic friend who came here, discovered the problem and fixed it for free. It was truly a testimony to her of God's provision, something she sorely needed as she shared with me how she completely 'freaked out' when she'd gone to bed the night before. This opened the door for us to talk quite a bit about what faith is, and how to live by it, instead of always scrambling to find a way to make things work, often to our own detriment. My heart was overwhelmed as I saw her tear up -- a rarity -- over God's care for her. I know He deposited something important in her life through the experience.
Our son's car, on the other hand, is definitely headed for the junkyard. And I'm now the one trying to remember how to live by faith. The Lord has impressed Joe and I with the need to wait and not try to solve the problem for him too quickly. Not that we have some great plan -- it's just that I really like to line up all my ducks, and tend to be pretty resourceful about coming up with solutions. But this Living Intentional resolution -- to delight in the Lord daily, to dialogue with Him throughout the day, and do the things He impresses me to do -- swirls around like a song I can't get out of my mind. Life this way is certainly unpredictable.
And so we wait...and that for me brings all manner of temptation to fear the worst-case scenarios. (He'll lose his job, he'll sink into terrible depression, he'll live with us forever -- you get the point). Then of course that leads to all kinds of self-recrimination (people are hungry and homeless in Haiti and you can't handle a little problem like this?)
I wish I were far more spiritual, but this is where I'm at. I woke up at 4:30a.m. wrestling with what in the world is going to happen, especially the first day he has to start taking the long bus ride that involves a few transfers, just to get to work. If I could plot a different path, I would -- but then I would miss out on what God wants to teach me, and the joy of seeing His faithfulness in a different way, over time. He's never failed us yet -- isn't that the lesson I wanted these kids to learn?